I have noticed many times when people are telling me how they are doing, they drift into what I refer to as Ghost Stories.
These are hauntings, the way most of them are told. We tell the stories so easily it is hard to see that we are stuck inside of a ghost story of our own telling.
For instance, I had a ghost story I was telling about one of my dogs that she was suffering under my care. I was certain that my busy schedule was not allowing her to have the time she needs to learn to be a relaxed companion dog. (Ghost story, but I did not recognize it!) And I was fretting about it. When I spoke with an experienced trainer, she told me she was probably born to be a performance dog and does not do relaxed! What she recommended was 3-minute training sessions teaching her tricks and games each night right before bed. That has worked like a charm. She is now the same bouncy dog but I am more light-hearted about it and she really looks forward to our nightly game play. The ghost story is gone, and I am more relaxed. (She gets a 2-plus mile walk 6 days a week with her pack!) Ghost stories are stories about the past or worries about the future. Mavis Karns in It’s That Simple, wrote:
“Worry is the learned habit of frightening ourselves with our own imagination.”
Who do you know who tells a story about their past or future that does not bring a warm feeling with it? I spoke with someone yesterday in the throws of a relationship breakup. She had so many stories about her former partner, and she also thought there was something wrong with her. When we let the emotion pass through, which it is designed to do, what we began to see was if the story were told neutrally, there was insight available. Nothing wrong with either of them, other than they temporarily lost their minds with each other. And it is a relationship that might need to be complete. Catching the ghost story allows us to recover more quickly, and to see what is the true nature of things.
Kids are masters at imagination. They invent realities all the time, and then live inside of them. I distinctly remember weaving tales in my bedroom as a child, enjoying my ability to create the feeling I wanted my plastic horses and I to have in the adventure I invented for us. The problem with imagination is sometimes we forget we made it all up! The delightful vignette below, from the book, Being Human, by Amy Johnson, is one of my favorites.
“WILLOW AND BUDDHA”
My girl Willow has the most active imagination of anyone I’ve ever met. She’s three, by the way.
She will make up scenarios with details that would blow your mind. I have no clue where she gets this stuff.
She’s not only great at crafting stories, she also has the incredible ability to set aside reality and dive into her tales as if they were absolutely true.
This morning she was on my bed; Buddha, our Zen-like, seven-pound Yorkie was lying on the floor.
I asked Willow to jump off the bed and follow me downstairs for breakfast. She looked at Buddha and in a very dramatic, damsel-in-distress voice, said,” But I’m scared of Buddha, she’s going to get me! Nooo, Buddha, nooo!”
(Buddha, not amused, looked at me as if to say, “This again? Am I supposed to growl and nip at her feet or can I go back to sleep?”)
I suggested to Willow that she hop in her hot air balloon and float over Buddha to get downstairs safely. (She often travels by hot air balloon.) Then I went downstairs and left her to figure it out.
Five minutes later I was downstairs and Willow wasn’t. She was crying on the bed.
“Come down!”
“I can’t. I’m afraid of Buddha!” she cried, sounding honestly afraid.
She wasn’t playing anymore. Or, more accurately, she forgot she was playing. She made up a story in her head and was so immersed in it that she forgot she invented it.
I went up to get her. Her face was soaked with real tears and she looked terrified. Of a sleepy seven-pound dog named Buddha.
I reminded her that she was only playing a game where she pretended to be afraid of Buddha. That she wasn’t really afraid. After a few moments, her face lit up and a huge smile appeared.
I said, “You forgot that you were playing a make-believe game, didn’t you?” She laughed and said, “I’m silly!”
She is silly, but she is also a lot like you and me. She gets so wrapped up in her own thinking that she forgets that she is the one who invented it.
Ghost Stories
I have noticed many times when people are telling me how they are doing, they drift into what I refer to as Ghost Stories.
These are hauntings, the way most of them are told. We tell the stories so easily it is hard to see that we are stuck inside of a ghost story of our own telling.
“Worry is the learned habit of frightening ourselves with our own imagination.”
Who do you know who tells a story about their past or future that does not bring a warm feeling with it? I spoke with someone yesterday in the throws of a relationship breakup. She had so many stories about her former partner, and she also thought there was something wrong with her. When we let the emotion pass through, which it is designed to do, what we began to see was if the story were told neutrally, there was insight available. Nothing wrong with either of them, other than they temporarily lost their minds with each other. And it is a relationship that might need to be complete. Catching the ghost story allows us to recover more quickly, and to see what is the true nature of things.
Kids are masters at imagination. They invent realities all the time, and then live inside of them. I distinctly remember weaving tales in my bedroom as a child, enjoying my ability to create the feeling I wanted my plastic horses and I to have in the adventure I invented for us. The problem with imagination is sometimes we forget we made it all up! The delightful vignette below, from the book, Being Human, by Amy Johnson, is one of my favorites.
“WILLOW AND BUDDHA”
My girl Willow has the most active imagination of anyone I’ve ever met. She’s three, by the way.
She will make up scenarios with details that would blow your mind. I have no clue where she gets this stuff.
She’s not only great at crafting stories, she also has the incredible ability to set aside reality and dive into her tales as if they were absolutely true.
This morning she was on my bed; Buddha, our Zen-like, seven-pound Yorkie was lying on the floor.
I asked Willow to jump off the bed and follow me downstairs for breakfast. She looked at Buddha and in a very dramatic, damsel-in-distress voice, said,” But I’m scared of Buddha, she’s going to get me! Nooo, Buddha, nooo!”
(Buddha, not amused, looked at me as if to say, “This again? Am I supposed to growl and nip at her feet or can I go back to sleep?”)
I suggested to Willow that she hop in her hot air balloon and float over Buddha to get downstairs safely. (She often travels by hot air balloon.) Then I went downstairs and left her to figure it out.
Five minutes later I was downstairs and Willow wasn’t. She was crying on the bed.
“Come down!”
“I can’t. I’m afraid of Buddha!” she cried, sounding honestly afraid.
She wasn’t playing anymore. Or, more accurately, she forgot she was playing. She made up a story in her head and was so immersed in it that she forgot she invented it.
I went up to get her. Her face was soaked with real tears and she looked terrified. Of a sleepy seven-pound dog named Buddha.
I reminded her that she was only playing a game where she pretended to be afraid of Buddha. That she wasn’t really afraid. After a few moments, her face lit up and a huge smile appeared.
I said, “You forgot that you were playing a make-believe game, didn’t you?” She laughed and said, “I’m silly!”
She is silly, but she is also a lot like you and me. She gets so wrapped up in her own thinking that she forgets that she is the one who invented it.
The Operating System for Being Human
Have you ever thought about how much we do not know about the operating system on our phone? Occasionally, I randomly discover a new feature of the phone (Like I can measure distances with it. Who knew?) and am delighted. I can streamline my usage of the phone and make wiser choices about how I use it.
The same thing is true for human beings. It turns out there is an ‘operating system’ for being human, just like there is in our phone, or for that matter, all of our technology. And just as for technology, we do not come with a manual either! Yet the relief, fresh thinking, energy, and creativity that is available when we align with any operating system is amazing.
For instance, we are designed to feel what we think about. Think about that for a moment. Something happens, and how we think about it is how we understand it. And how we feel in the moment. Those memories from the past that we talk about? How we talk about those memories makes all the difference to our quality of life. If we tell the story from the point of view that we were victimized, we immediately feel revictimized again. If we tell the same story more neutrally, or from a fresh perspective, we often find we now can see things differently, without changing any of the circumstances.
This recently happened to me. I accidentally found a mass on my old dog Carmel at exactly the same time she seemed to be in some new physical distress. I assumed (thought) that the mass had everything to do with her distress. For 24 hours we were taking her to see what we could do about the mass, and the answers were grim. On my drive to the vet to pick her up from testing, I was distraught about the thought of finally losing my old friend.
Suddenly, I had the thought that maybe the mass and her symptoms had nothing to do with each other. So, on the way home after picking her up, I stopped at her regular vet who could do a urinalysis and we found that the distress was from an infection in her urinary tract, not from the mass. We had another 6 weeks with our almost 15-year-old Carmel, during which time she was pain-free until the last day.
New thinking, new options. That is how the operating system works.
When we align with that operating system, our lives are different than when we innocently interfere with that system, and believe what we think. Any time you are struggling or in distress, consider that the root cause of the distress is not outside of you, but is in how you are thinking about the circumstances. Every time. This is not about changing your thinking, but rather noticing that the operating system is based on how thought works, and we were not taught about how thought works.
Our experience of life comes from the inside out, not the outside in. Changing circumstances seems to be how to have the experience we want to have. (If I just had more money, weighed less, had a partner who loved me, had the right job, boss…it is endless and exhausting.) Rather, can I catch when my thinking is messing with me and let it go by. Thought is always in motion, so letting it go by is easier than it seems. Why it seems to stay around all the time is we keep inviting it to tea!
There is an old Chines proverb that goes something like this:
You can’t control the birds that fly over your head, but you can control which ones nest in your hair.
For this month, notice how much you invite thoughts to stay in your guest room, or come for dinner, and how those thoughts are not necessarily the ones you would choose to have around all the time! Then breathe, and brush them away so new, refreshing and wise thinking can come to stay.
The Power of Neutral Language
I have noticed recently how much I want to label things that upset me.
They are mean. I am a mess. It was not fair. The list could fill an entire single-spaced page! And if I am aware, I can also suddenly feel how my body has tightened up, and how my breathing has become shallower. I might even be clenching my jaw. Yikes!
Often, we know our stories make us feel worse, not better, but we seem powerless to do anything differently for all kinds of reasons. Maybe we feel like we need to get justice. Or maybe we do not want to let them hurt us again. What are some of the other reasons we might hold on to stories like these?
Please take a moment and recall something that recently caused you frustration, anger, or insecurity. Notice how your body feels, and how your mind feels. OK, that is enough of that!
Now, please recall something that recently had you experience awe, or joy, or appreciation. Notice now how your body feels, and how your mind feels. Interesting, right? You have just tapped into how the mind works to help you navigate back to innate well-being, resilience, and creativity. What was the difference? What are you focused on? And yes, it really is that simple.
Why does that work so effortlessly to return you to a nice feeling? Please return to the lovely experience you recalled. You might notice that your heart feels full, or very open. An open heart is our natural state. When we focus on things that are judgmental, our hearts slam shut. And that is like clogging a pipeline to wisdom, creativity, and fresh thinking.
I would like to suggest an exploration. Try telling that judgmental story but with completely neutral language. For instance, if someone says, “People who litter are so selfish,” what is a neutral way to say that, a way that includes all the circumstances that were noticed? It might be something like, wow, I wonder what is going on in their lives that has them so distracted they would drop trash on the ground? Can you feel the difference?
Or when someone says, I was depressed this morning. Upon reflection, when asked, the neutral version was, I was not ready for prime time this morning. Same circumstances, less noisy energy around the words.
What we speak is what we feel.
This is important for several reasons. The first is strictly biological. What we speak is what we feel. The second is, when I label something with venomous words, my poor body has stress hormones dumped into the system that tightens everything up and prepares me for fight or flight. Our world has ramped up opinions so much that we float in a sea of those hormones most of the time. Once we begin to explore describing our life more neutrally, we relax, our hearts open again, and we breathe more deeply, allowing our body to return to homeostasis, giving us access to wise choices and that wonderful fresh thinking.
By the way, this is not about coming up with a new story. This is about residing below the toxic noise that our judgments of ourselves and others create. In that place, below the noise, there is just openheartedness, and a feeling of following what wants to happen, with no judgment.
Change is Constant; So Is Design
It has been a whirlwind month around here.
It has been a whirlwind month around here. As I have been navigating through all the transitions, I came across a quote from an interview with Whit Missildine, creator of the podcast “This is Actually Happening” which stopped me in my tracks with its simplicity and wisdom. Whit’s podcast has people who have had unbelievable things happen to them, telling their stories in their own voices and with their own words. One woman, whose 11-year-old son was struck by lightning and killed, was asked, “How did you get through this?” and she answered, “I didn’t make it through. I became the person that could make it through.”
As I sat with that amazing insight, I realized two things. She was on to something about versions of ourselves shifting to address the circumstances we find ourselves in, and yet, there is always something that comes through these transitional shifts that is recognizable to ourselves and others.
Several of my friends and clients are dealing with losses, some of the beloved family members, and others of beloved pets.
Several of my friends and clients are dealing with losses, some of the beloved family members, and others of beloved pets. In all cases, the grief seems to threaten to consume them. And yet, as I watch, and weep with them, and support them as I can, I can see a slow turning towards who they need to be to come through this. And so far, those turnings mirror who I know them to be by Design.
What do I mean by Design? I mean, there is a true nature, a uniqueness that each of us is born with, that is at the heart of our lives.
What do I mean by Design? I mean, there is a true nature, a uniqueness that each of us is born with, that is at the heart of our lives. The more we align with this purpose, the more satisfying and effective our lives are. Transitions of all kinds can look like we are losing ourselves and our lives. We desperately want that sense of ease and autopilot back. We want that cuddle with our pet; we want to hold the hand of our loved one again. And even though we know that is not possible, we long for it. And often everything looks hard. And yet, the unfamiliar is not necessarily hard!
There is no normal.
As we come out of the lockdown phase of Covid, many people seem to want things to be back to normal. There is no normal. There is only the opportunity to rebuild creatively and wisely into a future we cannot see. And we have the opportunity to look forward to who can weather the transition, and welcome that person as our selves.
Gratitude/Appreciation Walks
I have been practicing the art of keeping my heart open recently. Our natural state is open-hearted, yet we often close it off and do not even notice.
The smallest things can trigger it to close. While I am writing this, my phone signals I have a text and my heart closes. Early this morning we had a 5.2 earthquake at 3:19 AM, in the Sierras, and my Shake Alert alarm blasted me out of bed. Closed heart for sure!
Why do I always do my gratitude walks?
I have found a simple practice that allows my heart to be more and more open, and when done daily is like exercise for keeping the heart open. I call this my Gratitude walk, or my Appreciation Walk. I head out early in the morning, somewhere between 6:00 and 6:30 AM, with several of my dogs. My job is to make sure they enjoy their walk, and I find something that takes my breath away and brings me a sense of wonder, gratefulness, or beauty. Even when I am kind of grumpy starting out, I often am surprised and delighted by what I notice.
The other day, about half-way through my walk, I turned the corner and was stunned to see a gorgeous rainbow that stretched from one side of the neighborhood to the other! And I felt my heart open. Or I am walking on the sidewalk of the busiest street in my neighborhood and suddenly see a six-foot row of fuchsia-colored Irises at eye level. Wow!
Even on the days I can’t seem to open my heart at all, I will be taken over by a sense of belonging and gratitude at the tiny, lovely spaces my neighbors often work hard to encourage. Like the miniature English Garden that pops up after a rainy winter. Or the young squirrel who is so enthralled by the food he has found that he never notices the human and the three terriers coming upon him. (We silently crossed to the other side of the street so as not to disturb him or her.)
Tune in to your heart. It is designed to be open.
So, tune in to your heart. It is designed to be open. And it closes at the drop of a hat. Notice how that feels also. Then practice opening and closing the heart, opening and closing the heart. As you practice you will suddenly notice that your heart’s muscle tone has improved, and when you are startled or frustrated suddenly, you have another move that might just allow the heart to open back up much more quickly.
Insights and Seeds
Insights and Seeds — Insights are just like the seeds that have been dormant and now finally have the room to come to life.
As I was walking this morning with my beloved Norfolk Terriers, I was overcome by the beauty in this gorgeous Easter morning. Spring has erupted with wildflowers and weeds, causing a riot of color, beauty and a greener green than I knew existed. All the rain we have had seems to have had things some alive in a new and powerful way.
It occurred to me during the walk that insights are just like the seeds that have been dormant and now finally have the room to come to life.
The energy that orchestrates all of that is awesome, by the way, and a deep mystery that can only be seen, not understood! In my life, I have found that if I give ROOM to a new insight, let it take hold and show me something new, my life will gently change without any ‘doing’ energy. I am reminded with a smile on my face about a garden my family planted for my 40th birthday years ago. I was recovering from surgery, and all I wanted was something to watch grow.
So, they pulled weeds, tilled and amended the soil, prepared the plan, and planted seeds that would grow into some of the best melons, corn, carrots and Sunflowers I have ever experienced. One of our friends participating in this garden project had two small sons, maybe 2 and 4 years old. I will never forget the 2-year-old watching the sunflower seeds being planted, and then spending the rest of the day squatting right near the row, waiting for them to come up. He could not understand the germination period occurs underground!
It reminds me of my own impatience about an insight.
I want the results of that insight RIGHT NOW! And if it does not happen, I often dismiss the insight as weak, or unimportant, and forget about it. The thing is, it never really forgets about me. It may be days, months or years later that I ‘suddenly’ see the insight in full bloom as it helps orchestrate my life to be wiser and more creative. And then sometimes the insight is ready to blossom immediately. I recently was in conversation with a group of beloved friends and clients and realized I had let go of dreaming (the day kind, not nighttime dreaming). I had become so focused on making sure my work was done, the house work and cooking was kept up, and my study and research was done that I never even missing having dreams. Just noticing that seemed to have a powerful effect on all of us, and since then even though I have not actively set a ‘time’ to dream, my life seems roomier, more relaxed, and more creative. Plus, the work is more satisfying and deeper somehow. Interesting, right? I only needed to notice the insight then stay open to its message for life to somehow be more delightful.
There is a certain feeling that comes with those insights
So, go forth into Spring, and notice an insight this week. They happen all the time, and are sometimes marked by, “Aha!”, or “Hmmmm, that is interesting….”. There is a certain feeling that comes with those insights. Let that roll through you and then just observe. And let me know what you discover!
Let it Go, Let it Go……….
Let it Go — This season of renewal called Spring reminds us that fresh thinking is available in every aspect of our lives.
Remember the February conversation about how thought is like a black and white cat running straight at us?
This is the season that I had my own deep insight into how thought works when I gave up thinking my husband was ‘psychotic’. In the ensuing 40 days, we began to see that even though the first 5 years of our marriage had been difficult, our relationship was still wonderful.
We just needed to practice letting thought move through us, rather than believing it. You see, the true nature of thought is that it is always in motion, coming from the formless or spirit, entering our thinking and then moving on to the formless again. Unless we invite it to tea! That is when the real mischief starts. The longer thought hangs around, the more solid and believable it becomes. Loop or repetitive thinking begins to happen and our mood drops. What to do?
I have a metaphor I just love, especially in any sort of relationship.
I imagine that when I am angry or frustrated by something I think was ‘done to me’, I promise myself I won’t speak until I have calmed down. What I realized many years ago is that if I speak from a frustrated or angry mood, what I say can cause great harm to the relationship I have with that person. It is though I blow a hole in the relationship with my frustration or defensiveness, then I’ll have to fill that hole in through time with a teaspoon or small trowel! Imagine the momentary satisfaction of reaction, then how long it will take to recover a trusting and kind relationship with that other person. I decided it was not worth it.
I am not saying to stuff your reaction. I am suggesting you not discuss anything important until your mind has cleared (as well as theirs!) Then the Essence of Life, or Wisdom, will have room to bring fresh thinking or a new perspective, which will allow for constructive conversation. No new hole in the relationship to fill in! Think of this like skirting live landmines, navigating through until you can see a clear path to where you want to go.
Try it and let me know how it goes. And remember, relationships are often like a child playing with a yoyo on an escalator that is going up. If we focus on the up and down of the yoyo, we will be chaotic in our thinking.
If we focus on the direction of the upward elevator, we can relax and trust we are going in the right direction. And that allows us to relax, and enjoy our lives more and more.
Thought is Like a Black and White Cat
I love my morning walks with the young dogs.
If I get an early enough start, there are far less distractions (birds, squirrels, skunks, other people, and dogs) so we walk and reflect and all is quiet and lovely. This morning was just such a walk. We climbed our hill, crested the top, then started down the long slope down.
Out of nowhere, breaking through the dark, streaks a black and white cat coming straight for us as fast as it can go.
I have terriers and they had a very terrier-like response. That was, shrieking at the top of their lungs and launching into the leash to give chase. As the cat flew by, I managed to hang on to all three terriers. Within a few steps we were back into the rhythm of our walk as though nothing had happened, and it suddenly occurred to me that this was a perfect metaphor for how thought works.
Thought come at us sometimes gently, but more often like that barrel-racing black cat. It is suddenly upon us, we believe it and we have a startle reaction as well as an experience that comes with that thought. There was no stopping the cat this morning, and there is no stopping a reactive thought either. However, what the terriers know, and we humans often forget, is once the cat is past, and it is clear they have no way of engaging with it, they return to a happier state of balance in the present moment almost immediately.
Thought works in exactly the same way, if we do not chase our thinking.
If we let it go by, we will naturally return to a state of presence that all of us prefer. In that state of presence, our senses are heightened, and we feel the beauty all around us. Even in times of war, conflict, great sorrow, frustration, and complexity, grabbing hold of thought keeps us tense, while shaking ourselves off and allowing a return to presence is always available and keeps wisdom streaming through us instead of adrenalin. This is how we are wired, how the ‘system’ that is built into all of us works. Experimentation with this is worth trying, as the more you can align with the operating system that comes with life, the better will be your experience of life, and the wiser and more effective you will be.
Our intellect and ego will try to change our thinking so we are calmer and happier.
That only keeps us engaged with thought, which is the opposite of what we are attempting to achieve. Let it go by like that black cat did this morning and take notice that wisdom fills the gap where the frustration, anxiety, and tension once was.
Human Beings are Designed to Float
I have a vague memory of learning to swim when I was a very small girl.
My twin and I were in class together, and I remember getting to the point where I could go through tubes underwater and not be afraid. I suspect that was because it dawned on me that I was designed to come back to the surface if I got scared. Even if I could not swim well yet, the natural occurrence would be popping to the surface if I did not struggle. What a relief!
What I was not taught, and as far as I know very few people were taught, is that our psychology is designed to allow us to experience the sense of floating as well.
People often tell me that they finally relax when they are in the shower, or driving on a country road, or on vacation. In those moments, we have nothing on our minds and we come back to the surface quickly, much like a Beach Ball. When we listen to music or watch a sunset, our minds are quiet and we have a feeling of peace that is much like floating. Why is that?
It turns out that when we focus on a thought and intellectually try to solve a problem, understand something that frustrates us, or worry about something, that thinking almost literally weighs us down. Thought’s nature is to keep moving through us.
When we invite it for tea, is when we have trouble.
(One of my favorite Chinese proverbs goes something like this: You can’t control which birds fly over your head, but you CAN control which ones nest in your hair!) When we bring our intellect to something, we are focusing on a thought. If, while we focus, we begin to feel heavy or tense, let that thought move away like a cloud or bird, and wait to see what shows up next. If we feel interested and excited about our focus, follow that feeling. It will not lead you astray.
When we float, either physically or mentally (or both!), we have the luxury of letting thought just move through us.
It feels like listening to some lovely music, without having to know any of the lyrics or how the music was made. In those times, we can hear our intuition guiding us, and wisdom is suddenly pointing to new directions and ideas. We might suddenly have a realization, or even just notice that life is perfectly orchestrating solutions for us if we back away and let it.
Sometimes we worry because we think it is useful. We think if we do not worry, we are irresponsible. My experience is when I am ‘floating’ and have a sudden insight about what to do, I find myself almost jumping into action with all kinds of energy to bring to the new insight. The insight and the energy seem to come together.
So, try that this month. Practice being a Beach Ball.
Notice that you do not have to push the ball back to the surface. It is buoyant and pops to the surface on its own if we stop pushing down on it. And enjoy the waves rather than fighting them.
What if it was all meant to be?
What if it was all meant to be?
I think the most important question facing humanity is, “Is the universe a friendly place?” –Albert Einstein
I recently had a series of clients and friends who have had, shall we say, circumstances they would not have chosen.
Often as they recount the situations, they say things like, “Why is this happening to me?” or “Oh no, I cannot have this now. What will I do?” The interesting thing is, once I hear back from them several days, weeks or months later, they often tell me insights they have had, new wisdom that has shown up, or bad habits that got broken, all because of the unwanted circumstances. What if it is all meant to be?
As we begin the new year, see if you can pause a bit and see the theme or trajectory of your life looking backward.
For instance, when I was 18, I broke 3 bones, one every six months. During that time, it dawned on me that there might be a message to slow down a bit and live more thoughtfully. Then I had a period of dealing with two different kinds of cancers, both of which I fully recovered from. During THAT time, it occurred to me that I had been taking my physical body for granted, and it might be wise to develop a relationship with it.
And now, as I look back at all of that, plus career changes
and ultimately finding a wonderful man to marry, and work that is deeply satisfying, I can see that all those unwanted circumstances were essential to the whole journey, not something that was a mistake. How would we interact with “unwanted” circumstances if we considered they might be FOR something?
I do not mean we are predestined for suffering, not at all.
In fact, I know we are designed as human beings to enjoy life AT ALL TIMES. If you can allow that, it is possible to be at peace in the middle of unwanted circumstances, their place in a whole life might begin to show up.
Here in California, we are experiencing round after round of storms, bringing flooding rains and deep snow, depending on the elevation.
Many of us lost power, including our own homes. We were without electrical power for 17 hours, the longest power loss I have ever had in this house. My husband and I commented when we finally had power restored that there was a certain graceful orchestration we were part of. We found it surprising, annoying, and then interesting to experience the quiet of a power outage, as well as the ingenuity that was at our fingertips. (Who knew I could groom a dog with a headlamp on, and the dog thought it was fun?)
So, make 2023 the year that instead of thinking life is working against you, see if you can consider it is always working on your behalf and is, in fact, friendly.
And allow your mind to soften, and reflect. Then let me know what you come up with!