The Illusion of Obligation

Think about it for a moment. Reflect on something you feel you should be doing and have not. Can you feel the tightness in your chest?

Notice how your breathing changes. That physiological change is not good for you, and not good for whomever you are doing the task for. A small but mighty trick of the mind could give you back so much peace of mind, inspiration, and relief, it just might be worth trying.

I remember where I was when I first questioned should and have tos, and then gave them up. I was scheduled to work at my pet store one Sunday, and had been notified that the other two staff people who were scheduled to work that day were ill. I got there early to help feed and water over 500 animals, birds and fish, only to discover it was just me that day. Yikes! And Sunday was often one of our busiest days.

I was so resentful, and so stressed that I just stood still inside the locked door of my store. I realized that working from obligation (should), and resentment, was going to wear me out, and was not much fun. Yet I could not seem to have my mind settle on any other way to work. So, I decided at that moment that I would do no work in the store that day until I came up with another place to work FROM.

It took me about 10 minutes, and then suddenly I realized those little beings were hungry, thirsty and their containers needed cleaning. And I wanted them to thrive in my store, not suffer. So, I spent the morning making sure they were delighted to be there! They not only got fed, but I had a playful attitude the entire time.

When I opened the store to the public that day, I explained that I was it, and asked for patience. We all had so much fun that day, figuring out how to make it all work. And I’ve never forgotten that day.

What was the trick? Being unwilling to work unless I could find a purpose behind that work. My clients often tell me, yes, but then so much would not get done. Maybe, but when we work from being pulled towards our work, rather than pushed into it, we have so much more energy, and we find new and creative approaches that revolutionize our moods and the work.

Try it and let me know what you find. Here are some places to notice sneaky obligation:
I HAVE to buy just the right gift for that person
If I don’t do this perfectly, something bad will happen.
If I don’t do this, who will?
I was assigned this task. Now what?
In all cases, reflecting on the WHY of these tasks will give you wisdom and insight on how to complete them, or renegotiate them. And your body will thank you for the new sense of wonder and calm that you discover.