The Operating System for Being Human
Have you ever thought about how much we do not know about the operating system on our phone? Occasionally, I randomly discover a new feature of the phone (Like I can measure distances with it. Who knew?) and am delighted. I can streamline my usage of the phone and make wiser choices about how I use it.
The same thing is true for human beings. It turns out there is an ‘operating system’ for being human, just like there is in our phone, or for that matter, all of our technology. And just as for technology, we do not come with a manual either! Yet the relief, fresh thinking, energy, and creativity that is available when we align with any operating system is amazing.
For instance, we are designed to feel what we think about. Think about that for a moment. Something happens, and how we think about it is how we understand it. And how we feel in the moment. Those memories from the past that we talk about? How we talk about those memories makes all the difference to our quality of life. If we tell the story from the point of view that we were victimized, we immediately feel revictimized again. If we tell the same story more neutrally, or from a fresh perspective, we often find we now can see things differently, without changing any of the circumstances.
This recently happened to me. I accidentally found a mass on my old dog Carmel at exactly the same time she seemed to be in some new physical distress. I assumed (thought) that the mass had everything to do with her distress. For 24 hours we were taking her to see what we could do about the mass, and the answers were grim. On my drive to the vet to pick her up from testing, I was distraught about the thought of finally losing my old friend.
Suddenly, I had the thought that maybe the mass and her symptoms had nothing to do with each other. So, on the way home after picking her up, I stopped at her regular vet who could do a urinalysis and we found that the distress was from an infection in her urinary tract, not from the mass. We had another 6 weeks with our almost 15-year-old Carmel, during which time she was pain-free until the last day.
New thinking, new options. That is how the operating system works.
When we align with that operating system, our lives are different than when we innocently interfere with that system, and believe what we think. Any time you are struggling or in distress, consider that the root cause of the distress is not outside of you, but is in how you are thinking about the circumstances. Every time. This is not about changing your thinking, but rather noticing that the operating system is based on how thought works, and we were not taught about how thought works.
Our experience of life comes from the inside out, not the outside in. Changing circumstances seems to be how to have the experience we want to have. (If I just had more money, weighed less, had a partner who loved me, had the right job, boss…it is endless and exhausting.) Rather, can I catch when my thinking is messing with me and let it go by. Thought is always in motion, so letting it go by is easier than it seems. Why it seems to stay around all the time is we keep inviting it to tea!
There is an old Chines proverb that goes something like this:
You can’t control the birds that fly over your head, but you can control which ones nest in your hair.
For this month, notice how much you invite thoughts to stay in your guest room, or come for dinner, and how those thoughts are not necessarily the ones you would choose to have around all the time! Then breathe, and brush them away so new, refreshing and wise thinking can come to stay.