The Power of Pausing
The power of pausing can be life-changing—especially when we find ourselves stuck in habits we wish we could shift. How many of us have a somewhat (or very) compulsive thing that we do that we know should be moderated or stopped? Maybe it is eating too much chocolate (been there, done that!) Maybe it is spending too much time on social media. Delaying that walk we want to do each day until we don’t have the time to do it. Or buying just one more book to read.
Maybe you’ve tried different things to stop the compulsion. Will power usually fizzles out at about 7 PM (that is true, scientifically). Being strict with ourselves also ruins self-esteem. So, what does a person do to break the cycle?
The Power of Pausing in Everyday Habits
It turns out the brain researchers who discovered the plasticity of the brain, (the ability of the brain to repair and change itself) provide us with a clue. They designed an experiment with people diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder. All the participants reported that they felt the need to lock their door 4-5 times before they felt it was safe to leave. The participants were told there was no pressure to stop locking the doors as many times as they needed to. What they asked, though, was that when they noticed themselves locking the door, they were to pause for 60 seconds to two minutes, either deep breathing or just waiting, and then they could continue with locking the door. This was practiced, then the participants were on their own. At the end of 6 weeks, all the participants reported a lessening of the compulsion, and many, if not most, stopped needing to lock the door more than once. So, what happened?
That pause signals to the brain that there is a change in habit. The old habit, lock the door 5 times before you leave, did not include the pause. That simple pause allowed the brain to invent a new habit around that circumstance, with no shame or pressure.
So, think about that habit you wish you could break. One of my mentors decided to make the pause enjoyable. When he noticed himself working under pressure (he was self-employed!), he would get up from his desk and walk down to the creek to fly-fish for 15 minutes, then he would come back and finish his work. Even when he had an impossible deadline, he did this. He kept his fly-fishing rod right at the back door so he could just grab it when he felt pressured. This was his pause. He reported something amazing after the first day he went fly fishing. The second time he felt pressured, he got up, grabbed his rod, and half-way down to the creek the sense of pressure had already lifted, so he turned around and went back to work. From that point on, the most he needed to do was touch the rod, and often he only needed to look at it. The brain had rewired itself to work from a calm place.
Many of my clients report success with the power of pausing. One wanted to be able to get out of bed and workout. So, he made a deal that when he woke up, he would put on his exercise clothes, then do whatever he wanted. That pause of dressing for the activity allowed his brain to rewire in very short order so that he began exercising and enjoying it.
The trick is though, that you must actually do the pause activity a few times. Otherwise, the strong neuropathway or habit you are trying to alter won’t budge. Give it a try and let me know how it goes. The power of pausing might just surprise you. It is WAY more effective than trying to use force of will to shift.
And if you’re curious about how a single question can shift your whole perspective — not just your habits, but how you move through life — I share more about that here.
