Embracing Connection in a Fractured World

Many of my friends, family and clients are gripped by the chaotic news reports lately. While I, too, am concerned, I find that the old mantra “think globally, act locally” encourages people to consider the world as a whole, while taking action in their own communities.

Why is this helpful? Because the world is not global, it is local. What does that mean? When we are focused entirely on our fear of the national or global future, we lose track of the present moment completely, and never experience that we belong anywhere. We are fearful, and we withdraw. In the present is where belonging, joy, and miracles can be found. It is also where we have the most impact on how our lives go.

How many of us have noticed that when we make eye contact and smile at a stranger, they often (not always) smile back? A smile signals to the heart that all is well, and our heart and body begin to relax. When we call someone, it is scientifically proven that if we remember to smile while on the phone, the conversation is more congenial, even though the smile cannot be seen.

I had a conversation with a colleague recently who is overwhelmed by what she perceives as wrongdoing in our politicians. I listened to her for a while, then asked her what was wonderful in her life right now. There was a fairly long pause (I could hear the train of her thinking derailing!), and then she began to list a few things that gave her great joy right now.

I reminded her to notice the difference between how tight her body was before the question, and then afterwards. I also told her about research being done currently into the power of speaking to people as though we are connected and belong to each other, even if we disagree. At the end of the call, she said, I don’t think I agree with you, but I do feel much better! Job done, belonging still in place even though she does not agree with me.

We are in the midst of things coming apart and things trying to come back together.

One point of view will never be creative enough for that coming together to be powerful and connecting and new. All of our voices need a place to be heard. I recommend we all practice listening as though someone had a point of view that, while frightening, might have something interesting to consider. Let your heart open, or at least catch how closed it might start off being in the conversation.

See if you can let the mood of the conversation slide over your back, while still listening for a point of possible validity in their point of view. And don’t be surprised if you hear something that seems like a good idea. Don’t deny it. Let that new thing you heard rattle around until it settles into a new idea for you. Then, share that with others to hear what they might hear.

Remember, all of life is working with us on this change. The power of all of us co-creating is what we are after. There can be no real peace without being willing to co-create in our politics, our relationships, and our communities.

Being right is not co-creation. It is being stubborn, and thinking no one else has anything of value to offer. Bring co-creation and belonging to all of your connections, and please keep an eye out for how others respond. It is pure delight!