Listening With The Heart
“If we were not so single-minded about keeping our lives moving, and for once could do nothing,” Pablo Neruda wrote in his gorgeous ode to quietude, “perhaps a huge silence might interrupt this sadness of never understanding ourselves.”
I have had the privilege this week of spending time with two amazing people as they discover their true nature. They are visibly relaxing as they have a new understanding that they each have something they can hear and feel that no one else can. This allows them to understand and know themselves much more deeply.
The thought that we will never understand ourselves haunts most of us, so we anesthetize ourselves by working when we KNOW rest is called for, or by sedating ourselves with narcotics, alcohol, or any of the other things we reach for when we are frightened of being quiet. I remember when I was that way, and to tell the truth, I can fall into that even now in short bursts. The difference is, however, that I have ‘micro-practiced’ living from the superpower of calm often enough that my brain longs for that state, and becomes agitated when I live from distress.
The art of listening seems to be my way to practice. Recently, my beloved older dog, Miracle, has had a behavior change that is stressful for her and us. It is common for her to wake us up once during the night, needing to go out. (She has managed, genetic, kidney issues). However, suddenly she needed to go out 4 times a night, and would not settle down. The second night this occurred, I decided to sit on the couch near her living room apartment/crate and breathe with her, to see if she would settle.
I realized as I was breathing that I was listening to the situation not just with my ears, but with my heart. As she is an old dog (13.5 years old), I am aware of the fact that we will not have her for another 5 years, most likely. So, I know there may be physical changes that can cause her distress. I also know she has gotten some more fearful as she loses her eyesight slowly, as well as her hearing.
As I listened from an open heart, I could begin to ‘hear’ or feel wisdom pointing to things I might pay attention to.
I realized there were no physical symptoms during the day, and her distress sounded and felt like anxiety. I also realized that in the 15 minutes, I sat with her, she had become noticeably more relaxed and was beginning to go through her bedtime routine of cleaning her paws, then settling down and dropping into sleep. And she slept the rest of the night. We now have a protocol in place that has her sleeping closer to us (Not on the bed as it is too high for an old dog to jump up and down from). However, if she can hear us breathing deeply, she can relax.
Why tell this story? Because I notice that when I am willing to create a 15–20-minute pocket of solitude and listen, I am guided to notice things from my heart that give me clues on how to mentor and support my dogs, my clients, my business colleagues, and myself. The key is the quiet mind. Wisdom cannot be heard when we are noisy intellectually.
What if all the clues we need are right in front of us and it only takes us quieting down to hear them? It might be sort of like those missing glasses that you look all over for, only to find them where you first looked. Why couldn’t we see them the first time around? Our frustrated or anxious thinking blocked us from being guided to where they were.
Try this micro-practice and begin to appreciate the true power of listening from the heart. And let me know how it goes!