Let it Go, Let it Go……….

Let it Go — This season of renewal called Spring reminds us that fresh thinking is available in every aspect of our lives. 

Remember the February conversation about how thought is like a black and white cat running straight at us?

This is the season that I had my own deep insight into how thought works when I gave up thinking my husband was ‘psychotic’.  In the ensuing 40 days, we began to see that even though the first 5 years of our marriage had been difficult, our relationship was still wonderful. 

We just needed to practice letting thought move through us, rather than believing it.  You see, the true nature of thought is that it is always in motion, coming from the formless or spirit, entering our thinking and then moving on to the formless again.  Unless we invite it to tea!  That is when the real mischief starts.  The longer thought hangs around, the more solid and believable it becomes.  Loop or repetitive thinking begins to happen and our mood drops.  What to do?

I have a metaphor I just love, especially in any sort of relationship. 

I imagine that when I am angry or frustrated by something I think was ‘done to me’, I promise myself I won’t speak until I have calmed down.  What I realized many years ago is that if I speak from a frustrated or angry mood, what I say can cause great harm to the relationship I have with that person.  It is though I blow a hole in the relationship with my frustration or defensiveness, then I’ll have to fill that hole in through time with a teaspoon or small trowel!  Imagine the momentary satisfaction of reaction, then how long it will take to recover a trusting and kind relationship with that other person.  I decided it was not worth it. 

I am not saying to stuff your reaction.  I am suggesting you not discuss anything important until your mind has cleared (as well as theirs!)  Then the Essence of Life, or Wisdom, will have room to bring fresh thinking or a new perspective, which will allow for constructive conversation.  No new hole in the relationship to fill in!  Think of this like skirting live landmines, navigating through until you can see a clear path to where you want to go.

Try it and let me know how it goes.  And remember, relationships are often like a child playing with a yoyo on an escalator that is going up.  If we focus on the up and down of the yoyo, we will be chaotic in our thinking. 

If we focus on the direction of the upward elevator, we can relax and trust we are going in the right direction.  And that allows us to relax, and enjoy our lives more and more.